Placeholder Content Image

What ‘psychological warfare’ tactics do scammers use, and how can you protect yourself?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mike-johnstone-106590">Mike Johnstone</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/georgia-psaroulis-1513050">Georgia Psaroulis</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a></em></p> <p>Not a day goes by without a headline <a href="https://www.vice.com/en/article/qjvaym/people-share-worst-scam-stories">about a victim being scammed</a> and losing money. We are constantly warned about new scams and staying safe from cybercriminals. Scamwatch has <a href="https://www.scamwatch.gov.au/research-and-resources/tools-resources/online-resources/spot-the-scam-signs">no shortage of resources</a>, too.</p> <p>So why are people still getting scammed, and sometimes spectacularly so?</p> <p>Scammers use sophisticated psychological techniques. They exploit our deepest human vulnerabilities and bypass rational thought to tap into our emotional responses.</p> <p>This “<a href="https://www.thecut.com/article/amazon-scam-call-ftc-arrest-warrants.html">psychological warfare</a>” coerces victims into making impulsive decisions. Sometimes scammers spread their methods around many potential victims to see who is vulnerable. Other times, criminals focus on a specific person.</p> <p>Let’s unpack some of these psychological techniques, and how you can defend against them.</p> <h2>1. Random phone calls</h2> <p>Scammers start with small requests to establish a sense of commitment. After agreeing to these minor requests, we are more likely to comply with larger demands, driven by a desire to act consistently.</p> <p>The call won’t come from a number in your contacts or one you recognise, but the scammer may pretend to be someone you’ve engaged to work on your house, or perhaps one of your children using a friend’s phone to call you.</p> <p>If it is a scammer, maybe keeping you on the phone for a long time gives them an opportunity to find out things about you or people you know. They can use this info either immediately or at a later date.</p> <h2>2. Creating a sense of urgency</h2> <p>Scammers fabricate scenarios that require immediate action, like claiming a bank account is at risk of closure or an offer is about to expire. This tactic aims to prevent victims from assessing the situation logically or seeking advice, pressuring them into rushed decisions.</p> <p>The scammer creates an artificial situation in which you are frightened into doing something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. Scam calls <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-have-filed-a-case-under-your-name-beware-of-tax-scams-theyll-be-everywhere-this-eofy-162171">alleging to be from the Australian Tax Office</a> (ATO) are a great example. You have a debt to pay (apparently) and things will go badly if you don’t pay <em>right now</em>.</p> <p>Scammers play on your emotions to provoke reactions that cloud judgement. They may threaten legal trouble to instil fear, promise high investment returns to exploit greed, or share fabricated distressing stories to elicit sympathy and financial assistance.</p> <h2>3. Building rapport with casual talk</h2> <p>Through extended conversation, scammers build a psychological commitment to their scheme. No one gets very far by just demanding your password, but it’s natural to be friendly with people who are friendly towards us.</p> <p>After staying on the line for long periods of time, the victim also becomes cognitively fatigued. This not only makes the victim more open to suggestions, but also isolates them from friends or family who might recognise and counteract the scam.</p> <h2>4. Help me to help you</h2> <p>In this case, the scammer creates a situation where they help you to solve a real or imaginary problem (that they actually created). They work their “IT magic” and the problem goes away.</p> <p>Later, they ask you for something you wouldn’t normally do, and you do it because of the “social debt”: they helped you first.</p> <p>For example, a hacker might attack a corporate network, causing it to slow down. Then they call you, pretending to be from your organisation, perhaps as a recent hire not yet on the company’s contact list. They “help” you by turning off the attack, leaving you suitably grateful.</p> <p>Perhaps a week later, they call again and ask for sensitive information, such as the CEO’s password. You <em>know</em> company policy is to not divulge it, but the scammer will ask if you remember them (of course you do) and come up with an excuse for why they really need this password.</p> <p>The balance of the social debt says you will help them.</p> <h2>5. Appealing to authority</h2> <p>By posing as line managers, officials from government agencies, banks, or other authoritative bodies, scammers exploit our natural tendency to obey authority.</p> <p>Such scams operate at varying levels of sophistication. The simple version: your manager messages you with an <em>urgent</em> request to purchase some gift cards and send through their numbers.</p> <p>The complex version: your manager calls and asks to urgently transfer a large sum of money to an account you don’t recognise. You do this because <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/fraudsters-use-ai-to-mimic-ceos-voice-in-unusual-cybercrime-case-11567157402">it sounds exactly</a> like your manager on the phone – but the scammer <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/thomasbrewster/2021/10/14/huge-bank-fraud-uses-deep-fake-voice-tech-to-steal-millions/?sh=1329b80e7559">is using a voice deepfake</a>. In a recent major case in Hong Kong, such a scam even involved a <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2024/02/04/asia/deepfake-cfo-scam-hong-kong-intl-hnk/index.html">deepfake video call</a>.</p> <p>This is deeply challenging because artificial intelligence tools, such as Microsoft’s VALL-E, can create <a href="https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2023/01/microsofts-new-ai-can-simulate-anyones-voice-with-3-seconds-of-audio/">a voice deepfake</a> using just three seconds of sampled audio from a real person.</p> <h2>How can you defend against a scam?</h2> <p>First and foremost, <strong>verify identity</strong>. Find another way to contact the person to verify who they are. For example, you can call a generic number for the business and ask to be connected.</p> <p>In the face of rampant voice deepfakes, it can be helpful to <strong>agree on a “safe word” with your family members</strong>. If they call from an unrecognised number and you don’t hear the safe word just hang up.</p> <p>Watch out for <strong>pressure tactics</strong>. If the conversation is moving too fast, remember that someone else’s problem is not yours to solve. Stop and run the problem past a colleague or family member for a sanity check. A legitimate business will have no problem with you doing this.</p> <p>Lastly, if you are not sure about even the slightest detail, the simplest thing is to hang up or not respond. If you really owe a tax debt, the ATO will write to you.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223959/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mike-johnstone-106590"><em>Mike Johnstone</em></a><em>, Security Researcher, Associate Professor in Resilient Systems, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/georgia-psaroulis-1513050">Georgia Psaroulis</a>, Postdoctoral research fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-psychological-warfare-tactics-do-scammers-use-and-how-can-you-protect-yourself-223959">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

How to protect yourself from cyber-scammers over the festive period

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-medhurst-1408437">Rachael Medhurst</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-wales-1586">University of South Wales</a></em></p> <p>The festive season is a time for joy, family and festive cheer. However, it’s also a prime target for cybercriminals. As online shopping ramps up, so does the risk of falling prey to cyber-attacks. That’s why it’s crucial to be extra vigilant about your <a href="https://blog.tctg.co.uk/12-cyber-security-tips-of-christmas">cybersecurity</a> during this time.</p> <p>Here are some essential tips to safeguard yourself and your data during the festive period:</p> <h2>Phishing</h2> <p>Phishing is when criminals use scam emails, text messages or phone calls to trick their victims. Their <a href="https://www.ncsc.gov.uk/collection/phishing-scams">goal</a> is often to make you visit a certain website, which may download a virus on to your computer, or steal bank details or other personal data.</p> <p>This type of scam tends to <a href="https://www.egress.com/blog/phishing/holiday-phishing-scam-guide">increase</a> at this time due to the amount of people having bought or received new gadgets and technology.</p> <p>Look out for there being no direct reference to your name in any communications, with wording such as “Dear Sir/Madam” or other terms such as “valued customer” being used instead. Grammar and spelling mistakes are also often present.</p> <p>Be wary of any suspicious links or attachments within emails too, and don’t click them. It’s better to contact the company directly to check if the message is genuine. You can also <a href="https://www.ncsc.gov.uk/collection/phishing-scams">report</a> suspicious messages and phishing scams to the government’s National Cyber Security Centre.</p> <h2>Shopping safely online</h2> <p>The convenience of online shopping is undeniable, especially during the festive season. However, it’s crucial to prioritise your security when buying online.</p> <p>Before entering your personal and financial information on any website, ensure it’s legitimate and secure. Look for the “https” in the address bar and a <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-vast-majority-of-us-have-no-idea-what-the-padlock-icon-on-our-internet-browser-is-and-its-putting-us-at-risk-216581">padlock</a> icon, which indicates a secure and encrypted connection.</p> <p>When creating passwords for online shopping accounts, use strong, unique combinations of letters, numbers and symbols. Avoid using the same password for multiple accounts, as a breach on one site could compromise all your others.</p> <p>As with shopping in the real world, be cautious when encountering offers that are significantly below usual prices or which make extravagant promises. Always conduct thorough research on the seller and product before making a purchase. If a deal seems too good to be true, it probably is.</p> <p>And if you are out shopping in towns or city centres, there will often be a large number of public wifi options available to you. However, criminals can intercept the data that is transferred across such open and unsecured wifi. So, avoid using public wifi where possible, especially when conducting any financial transactions.</p> <h2>Social media</h2> <p>While social media platforms provide people with a means to keep in touch with family and friends over the festive period, they are often a goldmine for <a href="https://www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/how-to-spot-a-social-media-scam-aMtwF3u1XKGt">scams</a> and malware (software designed to disrupt, damage or gain unauthorised access to a computer). In the spirit of the festive season, people often share an abundance of personal information on social media, often without considering the potential consequences.</p> <p>This trove of data can make people vulnerable to cyber-attacks. Scammers can exploit this information to gain unauthorised access to social media accounts, steal personal information, or even commit identity theft. To protect yourself, be mindful of what you share.</p> <p>Be wary when interacting with posts and direct messages, especially if they contain suspicious links or attachments. Before clicking on anything, hover over the link to verify its destination. If it shows a website you don’t recognise or seems unrelated to the message, do not click on it. If you receive a message from someone you know but the content seems strange or out of character, contact them directly through a trusted channel to verify its authenticity.</p> <p>Likewise, be wary of messages containing urgent requests for money or personal information from businesses. Genuine organisations will never solicit sensitive details through social media.</p> <p>There are many buy and sell platforms available on social media. But while such platforms can be a great place to find a unique gift, it is also important to remember that not all sellers may be legitimate. So, it’s vital that you don’t share your bank details. If the seller sends a link to purchase the item, do not use it. When meeting to collect an item, it’s generally safer to use cash rather than transferring funds electronically.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/aO858HyFbKI?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Advice for staying safe online.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Package delivery scams</h2> <p>As well as being a time for giving and receiving gifts, the festive season is also ripe for cybercriminals to exploit the excitement surrounding <a href="https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/about-us1/media/press-releases/scams-linked-to-parcel-deliveries-come-top-in-2023/">package deliveries</a>.</p> <p>Scammers often pose as legitimate delivery companies, sending emails or text messages claiming that a delivery attempt was unsuccessful or requiring additional fees for processing, or even customs clearance. Typically, these messages contain links or phone numbers that, when clicked or called, lead to fake websites or automated phone systems designed to collect personal information or payments.</p> <p>To protect yourself, always verify the legitimacy of any delivery notifications you receive. Check the sender’s email address or phone number against the official contact information for the delivery company. If the information doesn’t match or seems suspicious, don’t click any links or provide personal details.</p> <p>Legitimate delivery companies will never ask for upfront payment or sensitive information through unsolicited messages or calls.</p> <p>Remember, cybercriminals are skilled at manipulating the festive spirit to their advantage. Stay vigilant, exercise caution, and don’t let your excitement for gifts and deliveries compromise your cybersecurity.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218294/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-medhurst-1408437"><em>Rachael Medhurst</em></a><em>, Course Leader and Senior Lecturer in Cyber Security NCSA, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-wales-1586">University of South Wales</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-protect-yourself-from-cyber-scammers-over-the-festive-period-218294">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

"I just don't like old skin": Jane Fonda's bizarre confession

<p>Jane Fonda has made an unusual confession about her dating life, explaining why she would only date people of a certain age. </p> <p>The Hollywood legend, 85, has been married three times throughout her life: first to director Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, then to activist Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990, and finally to CNN founder Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001.</p> <p>Fonda is currently single, but doesn't plan on staying that way. </p> <p>Despite being open to finding love, the actress has a very specific criteria for potential suitors to meet before agreeing to a date. </p> <p>On the <em>Absolutely Not</em> podcast, the Oscar winner initially suggested she was done with men for good, saying, “I’m done, I’m over, I’m [almost] 86 years old, even in the dark I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of anybody.” </p> <p>But she then went on to confess that there’s still a chance she could fall for a man, but they would just have to be substantially younger. </p> <p>“And here’s another thing, I’m ashamed to say this, if I were to take a lover, he’d have to be 20. Because I don’t like old skin,” said Fonda.</p> <p>She continued, “And consequently, I don’t want to foist that on anybody else. I assume other people are like me, I just don’t like old skin.”</p> <p>“I disapprove of 86-year-old men with 20-year-old women, so I’m not going to repeat it. I can ogle them, and I can’t pretend that I don’t get turned on if I see a certain kind of a person, but no, no, no, I don’t want to force that on anybody.”</p> <p>Her confession has been criticised on social media, with some suggesting the star would be “cancelled” if it was a man that had said the same about young women. </p> <p>“This is seriously weird,” tweeted one fan, while another said: “But an 85 year old man wanting to date a 20 year old woman is disgusting? Am I right?”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

1 in 6 older adults fall victim to impersonation scams

<p>More older adults are likely to fall victim to scams than are currently recognised according to new US research. The problems are global. </p> <div class="copy"> <p>A research team from Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, US, says older Americans who aren’t cognitively impeded, are also at risk.  </p> <p>In their study <a href="https://10.1001/jamanetworkopen.2023.35319" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> today in <em>JAMA Network Open</em>, the group reports on a behavioural experiment where they targeted 644 adults aged 64-104 in Rush’s Memory and Aging Project – a local scheme that draws on participants from metropolitan Chicago to participate in research – with a pitch mimicking a real-world impersonation scam. </p> <p>The study’s fictitious ‘US Retirement Protection Task Force’ pitched itself to participants as a government social security initiative.  </p> <p>This USRPTF told participants via either post, email or a telephone call there’d been irregular activity on their Medicare or social security file and the inquiry was a routine account security check. As part of this, the fake agency asked participants to call a telephone hotline or login to a provided website to provide their details.  </p> <p>Over two-thirds of the study failed to respond to any attempts to obtain information by the phoney scheme.  </p> <p>The remainder were evenly split by either responding to requests for contact, but expressing scepticism at the authenticity of the USRPTF, or by responding and engaging with the request for information.  </p> <p>Those who were engaged with the request for information, but expressed doubts, were also those with the highest cognitive performance, and lowest proportion of dementia. They were also the most financially literate participants, while those who provided their details had the lowest literacy. </p> <p>Those who provided details were also found to have the lowest scam awareness of all participants.  </p> <p>Among this group, 1 in 10 willingly provided personal information and 1 in 5 provided details of their social security number.  </p> <p>“If extrapolated to a population level, these numbers are astounding and suggest that a very large number of older adults are at risk of victimisation,” the authors say. </p> <p>They also note that, given the use of a fictitious US government organisation name, the number of people vulnerable to well-organised scams is likely much higher.  </p> <p>Last year, the US National Council on Aging reported 92,371 older Americans were defrauded of a total of US$1.7 billion. Most were victims of government department impersonation, sweepstakes and robocall scams. Often such scams will simply demand payment while ‘spoofing’ the phone number of a government agency to add the veil of legitimacy. </p> <p>It’s a similar story around the world. This year, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission found Australians lost a record $3.1 billion last year, mostly via phone scams. Australians over 65 years of age accounted for a quarter of losses and reports.  </p> <p>The UK’s Action Fraud initiative found Britons lost about ₤2.35 billion in the 2020/21 financial year, with those aged 50-69 most susceptible to falling victim.  </p> <div> <p align="center"> </p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em><a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/society/1-in-6-older-adults-fall-victim-to-impersonation-scams/">This article</a> was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a href="null">Cosmos</a>. </em></p> </div> </div>

Legal

Placeholder Content Image

Hilarious reason dad couldn't be fooled by online scam

<p>One savvy dad has outwitted a scammer who posed as his daughter, after the scammer made one hilarious error. </p> <p>Ian Whitworth, a dad from Sydney, took to his LinkedIn page to share the message a scammer texted him in a classic phishing scam that targets parents. </p> <p>He shared the photo of what he thought was the "funniest phishing text any parent has ever received".</p> <p>The text read, "Hey dad, dropped my phone in the sink while doing the dishes. Its unresponsive this is my new number for now just text me here x."</p> <p>Despite the terrible grammar and punctuation that would immediately alert anyone to the possibility of a scam, it was something else that caught the dad's attention. </p> <p>Instead, Whitworth said it was the fact his daughter would never do the chore mentioned by the scammers.</p> <p>Still, he thought it was worth sharing a photo of the text in a bid to warn others, which he uploaded along with the comment, "Cybersecurity update. I just got this."</p> <p>"Perhaps the funniest phishing txt any parent has ever received. 'Doing the dishes', yeah, for sure."</p> <p>In a reply to one of the people who commented on his post, Whitworth joked that his daughter "at age four emerged from my parents' kitchen with a shocked look on her face. 'What's pop doing?'. He was washing up in the sink."</p> <p>Another commenter wrote, "Haha! There is NO WAY this is from my son or daughter, that's for sure."</p> <p>Another commenter said the giveaway that it wasn't from his own child was that they didn't immediately ask for money, to which Whitworth replied, "Ha, yeah, the phishers are like the seven step ladder of confidence before the money issue gets raised. Actual kids: MONEY NOW."</p> <p>According to the federal government's Scamwatch website run by the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC), the "Friends/Family Hi Mum" impersonation scam was common.</p> <p>"Scammers send messages pretending to be a family member or a friend desperate for money," it said.</p> <p>"They say they have a new phone and they need you to pay money to help them out of a crisis."</p> <p>Scamwatch warns: "Don't assume a person you are dealing with is who they say they are" and offers the following advice.</p> <p>"If someone you know sends a message to say they have a new phone number, try to call them on the existing number you have for them, or message them on the new number with a question only they would know the answer to," it said.</p> <p>"That way you will know if they are who they say they are."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / LinkedIn</em></p>

Legal

Placeholder Content Image

Facebook Messenger scams are on the rise – here’s how to protect yourself

<p><strong>Facebook Messenger scams prey on our vulnerabilities</strong></p> <p>Scams through Facebook’s Messenger platform are being reported at higher rates than ever before, according to AARP, citing its own data as well as that of the government. Since Facebook’s early days, cybercriminals have been mining Facebook’s direct-messaging capabilities to scam unsuspecting victims out of money. One of the earliest Facebook Messenger scams involved a message, purportedly from a friend, claiming they were stuck in a foreign country and in desperate need of immediate financial assistance to get out. It wasn’t really the friend, however, but rather a scammer who had hacked into the friend’s account. </p> <p>Imposter scams such as “the friend in a foreign country” have evolved and proliferated over the years. The common thread is the scammer either creates an account impersonating an actual Facebook account or hacks into an existing Facebook account. In either case, the scammer then uses the fake/hacked account to send private messages to the account holder’s friends that elicit either money or personal information. The messages vary, but all are designed to prey on our human vulnerabilities, including:</p> <ul> <li>the desire to be a “hero”</li> <li>the desire to appear “generous”</li> <li>the desire to win “free money”</li> <li>the desire to be loved and admired</li> <li>the desire to avoid shame or punishment</li> </ul> <p>If a scammer tries to message you, report them, Facebook advises, but that begs the larger question of how does one recognise a Facebook Messenger scam?</p> <p><strong>Current Messenger Facebook scams</strong></p> <p>According to Facebook and our cybersecurity experts, here are the most common Facebook Messenger scams today:</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Romance scams</em></span>. Preying on our desire to be loved and admired, romance scammers appear as attractive strangers with sad stories and a desire to love and be loved. The most effective romance scammers will friend a number of mutual friends before reaching out to any of them, in an attempt to make themselves seem less like strangers and more like people in the same social network. Many use photos they’ve stolen off the Internet and many pose as members of the military or as doctors, in an attempt to inspire trust, admiration, and even authority. What they all have in common is they can’t meet you just yet because they’re somewhere far away, and although it may take a bit of time, even as much as several weeks, they will eventually ask you to send money so that they can come to see you.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Lottery scams</em></span>. Preying on our desire for “free money,” lottery scammers appear as friends or organisations who are thrilled to tell you you’ve won money in some lottery or contest. The common thread? It’s a contest you have no recollection of having entered and to get the prize, you’ll have to either pay a fee or “refundable” advance or provide personal information.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Inheritance scams</em></span>. Also preying on our desire for free money, inheritance scammers claim to be lawyers or others who represent someone who has died and supposedly left you their estate or some portion of it – but first, you’ll have to fork over some money or personal information.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Loan scams</em></span>. Another variation on the “free money” theme is the loan scam, whereby the scammer promises low-interest loans with no money down – except for a “refundable” application fee. Facebook points out that loan scammers may send messages via Messenger and also leave posts and comments on Pages and in Groups to legitimise themselves. However, legitimate lenders wouldn’t offer loans via Facebook Messenger, nor would they ask you for money to proceed with a loan application.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Donation scams</em></span>. Facebook specifically warns users to watch out for “famous people” or people claiming to represent a charity hitting them up for a donation. Donation scams, which are easy money for a scammer because they are a direct request for payment, prey on our desire to be perceived, or to perceive ourselves, as generous.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>“Hey, is this you?” scams</em></span>. Consumer Affairs warns of this “phishing scam” that uses the threat of shame to goad you into giving up personal information. The scammer hacks into one of your Facebook friend’s Messenger accounts and sends you a video, asking if it’s really you in the video, and implying there’s something in the video that could embarrass you. If you ever get a message like this, Consumer Affairs urges you to ignore and delete it to avoid giving away personal information or introducing a virus onto your computer.</p> <p><strong>Red flags to watch out for</strong></p> <p>Unfortunately, Facebook Messenger scams evolve rapidly (as soon as we suss them out, there are several more to replace them). So, it’s a good idea to be aware of these warning signs that we culled from our experts:</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Someone is asking you for money</em></span>. While Facebook warns specifically against strangers asking for money, Rachel Wilson, investigative coordinator for The Smith Investigation Agency, points out to Reader’s Digest that any time anyone asks you for money over Messenger, it’s immediately suspect. “If friends or family ask you to help them in an emergency, always call to speak with them personally to confirm that the message originated with them.”</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Someone is getting a little too personal</em></span>. When someone sends you a message requesting personal information, especially financial information, it should be considered suspicious, advises Sean Messier, credit industry analyst for Credit Card Insider. Messier suggests not revealing any such information until you’re certain the message-sender is who they claim to be, but it’s probably also a good idea to never reveal any such information over Messenger at all.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Someone is offering something for free</em></span>. You know how they say there’s no such thing as a free lunch? Well, there’s no such thing as free money on Facebook, points out Robert Siciliano, security expert. This is true for any kind of “free money” Messenger message, including those involving lotteries, loans, contest winnings, inheritances, lost bank accounts, and reimbursements of money owed.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Someone who wants to take the conversation off Facebook (to text or email, etc)</em></span>. Facebook warns against taking conversations off Facebook unless you’re absolutely certain, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the message sender is who they say they are.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Messages that seem out of character for the sender</em></span>. If a message seems “out of the norm” for the sender, trust your instincts and ignore it. This is doubly true if the message includes an attachment. Be very wary of opening attachments in general, and particularly if something seems “off” about the message or the sender.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Messages rife with spelling and grammatical errors</em></span>. Facebook points out that when a message is filled with typos and grammatical errors, you should have your guard up. A single typo is one thing, but things like the misspelling of names and places are a big red flag.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>Messages from new accounts with few friends</em></span>. Roger Thompson, CEO of Thompson Cybersecurity Labs, points out that new accounts with few friends should always be considered suspicious until confirmed otherwise. Friend requests from such accounts and from duplicate friend accounts should be considered suspect as well.</p> <p>To avoid getting hacked (and used by a cybercriminal in an imposter scam), Wilson recommends updating your social media passwords regularly and always use two-factor authentication. She also notes that with Facebook use increasing among seniors, it would be a good deed to speak to older family members about Messenger scams and how to avoid them.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/science-technology/facebook-messenger-scams-are-on-the-rise-heres-how-to-protect-yourself" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.</em></p>

Technology

Placeholder Content Image

Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

<p>A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie.</p> <p>Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun.</p> <p>The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce.</p> <p>Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100.</p> <p>Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook.</p> <p>The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back.</p> <p>Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”.</p> <p>Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”.</p> <p>He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick.</p> <p>He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun.</p> <p>Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident.</p> <p>"It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said.</p> <p>"It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night."</p> <p>Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her.</p> <p>"He took away my sense of safety from my home."</p> <p><em>Image credit: ABC America</em></p>

Legal

Placeholder Content Image

Don't get caught out: 6 holiday scams ripping off travellers

<p>If you’re planning to take a trip across the world soon, then be warned, as there is an influx of new holiday scams affecting tourists as they travel to their dream break.</p> <p>Holiday-makers have money to spend and relaxation on their minds, which is why they are seen as easy targets for con artists.</p> <p>UK-based consumer group <a href="https://www.which.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Which?</a> has listed the six most common frauds travellers need to be aware of, along with tips on how to avoid getting scammed, <em><a href="https://www.thesun.co.uk/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Sun</a></em> reported.</p> <p>So, if you’re planning a trip abroad, here are the things you need to watch out for:</p> <p><strong>1. Accommodation booking scams</strong></p> <p>While the introduction of the internet has been a blessing in terms of ease, it’s also made it easier for scammers to lure you into their traps. With the growth of online holiday bookings, fraudsters often need nothing more than a few fake pictures to lure their victims.</p> <p>A common scam is one that includes picturesque photographs of holiday rentals that don’t seem to exist, advertised at affordable price points. The deals were often advertised on mainstream websites but asked those who were interested in booking to contact them via email, rather than use the site’s own booking system.</p> <p>Bookers were then sent a link to a convincing payment page, which suggested the payment hadn’t cleared. They then ask for a bank transfer instead.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself: </strong>Do your research. Google the property to see if it shows up on other reputable websites to check its authenticity. You could use Google Maps and Street View to see if the accommodation actually exists. Also, never pay by bank transfer.</p> <p><strong>2. Dodgy flight deals</strong></p> <p>Con artists have created fake airline websites that advertise budget deals on long haul flights that leave their victims high and dry.</p> <p>The UK government’s fraud agency has reported a recent surge of scams targeting those who are travelling to Asia, Africa and the Middle East.</p> <p>In many instances, tickets were purchased with stolen credit cards and then sold to unsuspecting victims, complete with a reference number.</p> <p>But tickets were then cancelled after the credit card was reported as stolen, leaving the victims out of pocket and nothing to show for it.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself:</strong> Book tickets through trusted agencies.</p> <p><strong>3. Wi-Fi hacks</strong></p> <p>It’s become human instinct to try and find Wi-Fi wherever you go, and the same applies when travellers land at airports.</p> <p>While it’s important to stay connected in order to get in touch with friends and family, there is a risk involved. Fraudsters have set up their own free networks in airports and use them to gain free information about anyone that logs on.</p> <p>Many passengers have been tricked into entering their credit card details before logging on.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself:</strong> Ask airport staff about the real Wi-Fi connection to make sure it’s the real deal and be on the lookout for connections that don’t ask for passwords straight away. Also, if you are asked for confidential information then provide fake details where possible.</p> <p><strong>4. “Free” holidays</strong></p> <p>This decade-long scam has been one that con artists have perfected throughout the years. Back in the day, people would be pressured into buying timeshares after accepting a complimentary break.</p> <p>Now, the con is conducted through scratch cards and other fake competitions.</p> <p>In one example of the scam, around 500 British travellers in Spain’s Costa del Sol have been scammed of around $27.5 million in the last year alone.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself:</strong> Refuse all offers of free holidays because if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is.</p> <p>Do you know of any other travel scams? Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>5. Document fraud</strong></p> <p>Over the years, the internet has seen a growth in websites selling fake travel visas and other important documents needed to visit foreign countries.</p> <p>A few cases were found to not be conducting illegal activity but were responsible for reselling documents at a huge premium compared to official channels.</p> <p>Some common examples included websites selling the European Health Insurance Card and US visa (Electronic System for Travel Authorisation, or ESTA) documents.</p> <p>While the sites looked extremely convincing, they had nothing to do with the governments of the countries they claimed to represent.</p> <p>According to Which?, out of the top 20 search results for “ESTA visa” over half were unofficial.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself:</strong> Follow links to official government websites through the Department of Foreign Affairs website.</p> <p><strong>6. Fake tickets</strong></p> <p>It’s no secret that music concerts and major sporting events are on top of the list of potential scams, but travellers are now falling victim to fake packages to international events and are only finding out the true worth of their ticket once they arrive in the country.</p> <p>The FIFA World Cup in Russia was one example where countless websites offered travel packages including tickets when the only tickets that were considered valid and authentic were the ones purchased directly from FIFA themselves.</p> <p>Scammers love to lure desperate fans with fake tickets, as they know the demand is high and it’s easy to trap people who are willing to go the extra mile for a ticket to their chosen event.</p> <p><strong>How to protect yourself:</strong> Make sure the tickets you are purchasing are from legitimate websites and web pages that start with “https” and have the padlock symbol in the URL bar. And if you’re on the hunt for second-hand tickets, then do a quick check if whether or not resale is allowed, as some tickets are only valid for the original buyer.</p> <p>“Criminals are finding ever more sophisticated ways to dupe holiday-makers, both in the booking process and when they’re on the holiday itself,” Which? Travel editor Rory Boland said.</p> <p>“If something seems too good to be true, it almost certainly is. Don’t hand your money over until you can be sure it’s the real deal.”</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

Long-married couples said not to know each other as well as newlyweds

<p>You would think decades of marriage together would give older couples plenty of time to get to know each other but an interesting new study suggests otherwise, finding that couples who have been together for decades are worse at predicting what their partner likes than newlyweds.</p> <p>The study, published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, tested young couples, aged from 19 to 32, who had been together for an average of two years and older couples, aged from 62 to 78, who had been together for at least 40 years. Each of the 116 participants was presented with a series of descriptions (of foods, movies, house designs and so on) and asked to rate his or her preference and predict how their partner would rate the item. They were also asked to estimate how many of their predictions were correct.</p> <p>And well, overall, we’re not great at knowing what our significant other likes, even though we think we are. Young couples got 42 per cent of their predictions right and older couples only predicted 36 per cent of their partners’ preferences, when both couple groups overconfidently estimated they would get 62 per cent of answers right.</p> <p>“This is surprising because, compared to younger couples, older couples had much more time and opportunities to learn about each other's preferences over the course of their relationship,” the team of psychologist wrote.</p> <p>They suggested that younger couples may be more motivated to understand their partners during the early stages of a relationship.</p> <p>“Another reason could be that older couples pay less attention to each other, because they view their relationship as already firmly committed or because they think they already know their partner well,” said one of the researchers, Dr Benjamin Scheibehenne of the University of Basel.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Divorce led me to my true love

<p><em><strong>Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise.</strong></em></p> <p>"On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks.</p> <p>I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since.</p> <p>This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband.</p> <p>During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me.</p> <p>We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love.</p> <p>It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time.</p> <p>Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too."</p> <p><em>*Names have been changed</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

<p>Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer.</p> <p>While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago.</p> <p>On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home.</p> <p>However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed.</p> <p>The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen.</p> <p>The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”.</p> <p>It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people.</p> <p>The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye.</p> <p>In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”.</p> <p>Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care.</p> <p>Private investigator and author William Merrit told the Daily Mail Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022.</p> <p>“Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said.</p> <p>A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022.</p> <p>“Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said.</p> <p>Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east.</p> <p>He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art.</p> <p>After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music.</p> <p>In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him.</p> <p>Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012.</p> <p>He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children.</p> <p>He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months.</p> <p>Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards.</p> <p>He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Get-rich-quick schemes, pyramids and ponzis: five signs you’re being scammed

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bomikazi-zeka-680577">Bomikazi Ze<em>ka</em></a><em>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/abdul-latif-alhassan-1390159">Abdul Latif Alhassan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-cape-town-691">University of Cape Town</a></em></p> <p>Consumers are under a lot of financial strain. The <a href="https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/09/cost-of-living-crisis-global-impact/">World Economic Forum</a> reports that the cost-of-living crisis is affecting people across the globe. With food and fuel prices rising, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep financially afloat. On top of that, salaries <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/workers-pay-globally-hasnt-kept-up-with-inflation-e6df92d">aren’t keeping up with inflation</a>, making it more difficult to save and build wealth.</p> <p>It’s during such times of economic difficulty and uncertainty that fraudsters lure unsuspecting consumers into “<a href="https://www.sabric.co.za/">get-rich-quick</a>” schemes, offering <a href="https://www.sabric.co.za/stay-safe/ponzi-pyramid-schemes/">an avenue to make easy money</a> by investing in a “lucrative” financial opportunity.</p> <p>Nothing beats the prospect of making easy money, and every now and again there seems to be a “get-rich-quick” scheme circulating on WhatsApp or on social media that seems legitimate. But it’s not.</p> <p>Our research interests centre on financial systems in emerging economies, and we advocate for financial inclusion and empowering marginalised communities through financial literacy and financial planning. We use our academic platform to share our expertise on finance, including common financial traps people should steer clear of.</p> <p>“Get-rich-quick” schemes are one such trap. They’re also sometimes called ponzi or pyramid schemes. The schemes are a form of <a href="https://www.lawinsider.com/dictionary/financial-fraud">financial fraud</a>. The people running them take money through deception: the misrepresentation of information and identity. They promise financial benefits that don’t exist.</p> <p>You should avoid them because, more often than not, they are bogus and fraudulent business ventures.</p> <p>There have been some massive fraud schemes over the past 30 years. In the early 1990s, <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/africa/mmm-global-russian-ponzi-scheme-from-1990s-reborn-and-now-spreading-like-wildfire-in-africa-a7333366.html">MMM Global</a> - one of the world’s largest and most notorious ponzi schemes - defrauded up to 40 million people, who lost an estimated $10 billion. Ponzi schemes have since resurfaced in different forms in <a href="https://www.iol.co.za/weekend-argus/news/ponzi-scheme-investigated-as-some-victims-lost-as-much-as-r200-000-c3c3633c-2abb-4dd4-b668-a5ea608deb41">South Africa</a>, <a href="https://guardian.ng/business-services/nigerians-lose-over-n911b-to-ponzi-schemes-related-fraud-in-23-years/">Nigeria</a>, <a href="https://www.voazimbabwe.com/a/zimbabwe-money-pyramids-ponzi-schemes/6305100.html">Zimbabwe</a>, <a href="https://allafrica.com/stories/202105170964.html">Kenya</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1108/JFC-09-2020-0177">Ghana</a> and several other African countries.</p> <p>There are five tell-tale signs of a “get-rich-quick” scheme. Watch out for them.</p> <h2>The five tell-tale signs</h2> <p><strong>Firstly</strong>, they offer exaggerated and above-market returns within a short period of time, with the promise of little to no risk.</p> <p>There are two golden rules when it comes to investing. The first is that it takes time to make money. Amassing a small fortune within a short space of time should raise questions about the scheme.</p> <p>The second rule is: the higher the risk, the higher the return. In other words, no investment is risk free or can guarantee significant returns. There is always some risk involved. An investment that promises substantial returns tends to be quite risky, which repels most people with a low appetite for risk.</p> <p><strong>Secondly</strong>, new members are constantly recruited to join the scheme.</p> <p>Typically, such schemes are sustained by relying on the investments of new members to pay existing members. Once the number of existing members exceeds new members, the scheme goes “belly-up”. At best you lose out on the returns you were promised. At worst you lose all the money you’ve invested.</p> <p>When the scheme collapses, it is almost impossible to recover the money you’ve lost because you’ve technically given it to a stranger (remember, the definition of financial fraud encompasses the misrepresentation of identity).</p> <p><strong>Thirdly</strong>, there is urgency to join the scheme and no clarity on how the scheme works.</p> <p>This is a classic characteristic of a “get-rich-quick” scheme. There is usually no clear answer about the nature of the scheme, what it invests in, how it generates its returns or the credentials of the organisation.</p> <p>Legitimate investments are transparent and can provide investors with all the information they need to help them decide whether to invest. Unsurprisingly, a proper check of “get-rich-quick” schemes will unmask their fraudulent nature. This is why there’s always the urgency and coercion to make an immediate financial commitment under the guise of missing a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get rich.</p> <p><strong>Fourthly</strong>, the scheme is not registered with or regulated by any recognised authority.</p> <p>Regulatory authorities are important because they monitor the conduct of financial service providers and protect consumers by keeping their best interests in mind. The protection provided by financial regulators also instils confidence in financial systems.</p> <p>“Get-rich-quick” schemes are not registered and operate outside the framework of regulatory bodies. This makes investors more vulnerable to loss and makes it more difficult to seek legal recourse when the loss occurs.</p> <p>Legitimate investments in South Africa are offered by authorised financial service providers and regulated by the <a href="https://www.fsca.co.za/Pages/Default.aspx">Financial Sector Conduct Authority</a>. You can search for any authorised financial service provider on the authority’s <a href="https://www.fsca.co.za/Fais/Search_FSP.htm">website</a>.</p> <p><strong>Fifthly</strong>, they use the testimonies from existing members who’ve earned big bucks to promote the scheme.</p> <p>At the initial stages, the scheme tends to pay out to those who have invested early, and these members are encouraged to share the news of their wealth (which travels fast and far) to promote the scheme.</p> <p>But this is a tactic used to create the impression that you too can earn returns in the double digits. These schemes are both unsustainable and unethical as one person gets wealthy through someone else being deceived.</p> <h2>Too good to be true</h2> <p>It’s worth repeating that if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.</p> <p>Wealth comes from a sound investment strategy and decisions made over time. Any promise to “get rich quick” should be treated with the cynicism it deserves. It will ultimately reveal its fraudulent nature. Recognising the signs of “get-rich-quick” schemes can save you from unnecessary financial distress.</p> <p>It’s always a good idea to do your own investigation before committing your finances into any investment. You can find more information on the various types of scams through the <a href="https://www.sabric.co.za/">South African Banking Risk Information Centre</a>’s website and report them to the <a href="https://www.safps.org.za/Home/Contact">South African Fraud Prevention Service</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205798/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bomikazi-zeka-680577">Bomikazi Zeka</a>, Assistant Professor in Finance and Financial Planning, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/abdul-latif-alhassan-1390159">Abdul Latif Alhassan</a>, Associate Professor in Development Finance & Insurance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-cape-town-691">University of Cape Town</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/get-rich-quick-schemes-pyramids-and-ponzis-five-signs-youre-being-scammed-205798">original article</a></em>.</p>

Money & Banking

Placeholder Content Image

3 things all couples fight about (and what to do about them)

<p>All couples argue from time to time, and it seems that we’re all fighting about the same things. These three issues crop up time and time again, mainly because there’s a deeper meaning than whose turn is it really to vacuum the house. Here are a few reasons why conflicts about money, sex and chores often escalate and how to cool down things down.</p> <p><strong>Money</strong></p> <p>Fights about money are rarely about money. Money is fraught with layers of meaning and often how we see it (and how we handle it) is a reflection of our personal values around freedom, security and generosity. Fights about spending can often be traced back to fears about not having influence in important matters in your life, worries about future security or concerns that your partner does not respect you or your money values. If you find yourself continually arguing about money, rather than focusing on the dollar value of items or pinning blame on who spent what when, talk generally about what role you think money should play in your life.</p> <p><strong>Sex</strong></p> <p>The intimate act of sex can both be a wonderful cementer of relationships or it can be terrible wedge that causes untold relationship tension. Arguing about how often to have sex is often not about the act itself but about our feelings of connection, affection and love. It’s important to remember that just like people change over the years so do desires and intimacy needs. Fluctuating libidos is a factor of life and the way to ensure you’re on the same page as your partner is to communicate. Don’t just expect your partner to instinctively know what you need.</p> <p><strong>Housework</strong></p> <p>It may sound like the most trivial of fights but disputes over domestic chores are less about the tasks and more about the underlying meanings of respect, fairness and worth. When one person feels like the household tasks are not shared or equal, it can unearth negative feelings that the other person does not appreciate them or does not respect them enough to help out. Have an agreement about housework tasks and talk about whether it may have a deeper meaning.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Why it's never too late to start dating

<p>Thinking about getting back into the dating game? It’s a new world out there and going on a date has changed. Here’s what you need to know.</p> <p>Whether you’re looking for love and companionship in your 20s and 30s or your 60s and 70s, dating is a universal experience that remains timeless. You’re never too old to meet someone new, rendezvous for a dinner and a movie, and possibly have something develop into a relationship. It’s just the act of “going on a date” that can change over the decades.</p> <p>If you’re looking to get back into the dating game but aren’t sure what to expect, don’t worry because you’re not alone. Many singles in their 50s and 60s would like to find a companion to share their life with but aren’t sure how to go about dipping their toe back into the dating pool.</p> <p><a href="http://www.valeriegibson.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Valerie Gibson</a>, US-based dating and relationship expert and author of <em>The Later Dater</em>, says dating again doesn’t have to be scary, it’s what you make of it. “Most people just want to have someone in their life who loves them, cares about them, is supportive, fun to be with, interesting to talk to and shares their goals,” she says.</p> <p>“That’s what dating is all about – the search to hopefully find someone with whom you can joyfully and happily spend your later years. You may not find them right away, but the journey through dating while you’re searching can be fun and exciting, and make ageing a fascinating adventure.” With that in mind, here are some tips from Valerie Gibson to get you comfortable with the idea of dating at any age.</p> <p><strong>Dating later</strong><br />While dating is a universal and timeless experience for everyone, it can be different depending on your age. In your 20s and 30s, dating is young, passionate, romantic, and carries the prospect of a long-term relationship leading to marriage.</p> <p>“The pleasure of dating in your later years is that dating is a little more low-key and less energetic, but can be much more meaningful and have a lot of depth and satisfaction, and often a lot of commitment.</p> <p>“Both parties have had relationships/marriages and are well aware of what they want now in a personal connection. Although dating at these lovely ages may not have the same wildfire of that in your 20s and 30s (which can burn out quickly at times), meeting someone new and dating them can be just as exciting at a later age as it was when you were much younger.” However, she adds that a lot depends on your positive attitude, youthful spirit and health as to whether later dating works for you.</p> <p><strong>First date jitters affect everyone</strong><br />One thing that affects singles, no matter their age, is a feeling of nervousness when meeting someone for the first time, particularly on a first date! It can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you haven’t done this in a good 20 to 30 years.</p> <p>The best way forward is to leave your expectations at the door and simply enjoy the experience of meeting and learning about a new person when on your date. Relax, enjoy yourself, learn about the other person and ask questions.</p> <p>“Most people are nervous at that first meeting and often trying too hard to impress. It usually eases on the second date and contrary to most opinions “chemistry” is not necessarily there immediately – it can grow.” If you don’t feel like it’s a good match from the get-go, however, when the time comes politely exit. Always treat people how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances.</p> <p><strong>Winning conversation</strong></p> <p>Whether you’re on a first date or not, there are a few topics you should steer clear of when meeting a person for the first time. It’s generally agreed that religion and politics are no-go zones, since these subjects are too inflammatory and divisive, and certain to make sure there isn’t another date.</p> <p>“I always tell people to not pour out all of their previous problems with their dates, marriages or relationships on the first date, especially any horror stories of your last ex. A person wants to know a little about you and who you are but not your complete life history and all of your life’s disappointments.</p> <p>“Keep it light and basically informative, discuss subjects such as music, books, movies, your travels, food and wine, hobbies, and you can also find out whether you have interests in common which is important.”</p> <p><strong>It’s a digital world</strong></p> <p>The dating game has changed quite a bit over the years, mostly with the arrival of the internet. Meeting someone online through a dating website has become one of the most popular ways where people are now searching for Mr or Mrs Right, particularly singles in their 50s and 60s.</p> <p>“There’s no question that online dating has become the most popular way of meeting someone when you’re over 60. The biggest growing demographic for online dating sites are people 50-plus.</p> <p>“It’s because it can be done from the comfort of your home, there’s some controllable privacy and anonymity to it which older people find reassuring and protective, and it’s the only way to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of other singles in your age group who you would never meet in everyday life – all at the click of a key.”</p> <p>Valerie warns that while there are genuine people looking for love online, you may unfortunately come across others who are not so genuine. Be cautious and if in doubt, ask a friend or family member for advice.</p> <p>While online dating is one great way to meet a partner, other options include through mutual friends, volunteering, joining clubs and groups, taking classes and basically, just getting out and mingling with people. “You’ll never meet someone sitting at home.”</p> <p><strong>Be informed about the new world</strong><br />For those looking to start meeting new people and go on dates, the best way to prepare yourself is to learn as much about the new world of dating as you can. Read books, ask friends (even talk to your children if they’re dating!), do some research and get yourself ready both emotionally and physically.</p> <p>“Always remember you have been through a lot in your life and dating isn’t life threatening after all! Make up your mind that you’re going to enjoy it and enjoy the people you meet, whether or not they are Mr or Mrs Right or someone who fits your long list of requirements.</p> <p>“The people you meet are also probably nervous, just like you, and also looking for someone they might like, can get along with, possibly fall in love with and maybe share their life with or maybe just to share some good times!”</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

<p><em><strong>Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">School of Love in New York City</span></a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships.</strong></em></p> <p>When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports.</p> <p>In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!”</p> <p>Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips:</p> <p><strong>1. Radiate strength</strong></p> <p>Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire.</p> <p><strong>2. Smile</strong></p> <p>Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation.</p> <p><strong>3. Be playfully combative</strong></p> <p>When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship.</p> <p><strong>4. Create an air of mystery</strong></p> <p>When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him.</p> <p>I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest.</p> <p><strong>5. Laugh</strong></p> <p>We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.</p> <p><strong>6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy</strong></p> <p>I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you.</p> <p><strong>7. Ask questions</strong></p> <p>Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.</p> <p><strong>8. Say a person's name — often</strong></p> <p>My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result.</p> <p><strong>9. Show warmth</strong></p> <p>Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.</p> <p><strong>10. Be original</strong></p> <p>Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Dating 101: what to wear on a date

<p>Dating and meeting new people are by no means all about looks and what you wear. However, not only will investing a little time in what you wear on a date make you look good, it will also make you feel good and put a positive spring in your step.</p> <p>Firstly, when pondering your outfit for a first date it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s always best to be on the smarter, slightly over-dressed side rather than under dressed. Presenting yourself well is worth it. If you turn up looking like you've just rolled out of bed, you're not likely to make a great first impression. And first impressions count.</p> <p>Here are some wardrobe pointers when deciding on what to wear on a first date:</p> <p><strong>Set the scene</strong><br />One of the most important considerations to keep in mind when selecting an outfit for a date is, where are you going, what will you be doing and what are others there likely to be wearing. It is also worthwhile seeing if there’s a dress code for the venue. You can usually find this on the website for the place or by giving them a quick call. A successful date will come from you feeling comfortable, so it’s important you don’t look, or feel, out of place. For example, you don’t want to wear a suit to a casual, laid-back dinner spot. Or, don running shoes to a fancy restaurant or bar. Fitting in with your surroundings will make you feel comfortable and allow you to relax. Don’t make things more nerve-wracking than they already are.</p> <p><strong>Confidence-boosting ensembles</strong><br />You’d be surprised just how powerful clothes can be in making you feel great. So opt for something you feel good in, as your outfit will impact how confident and natural you feel as well as your comfort levels while on a date. And this works both ways – you’ll want to ensure everything you opt for fits you well and isn’t uncomfortable. New shoes will give you blisters, a top a size too small will make you feel squeezed in, a woollen jumper could overheat your body – all of these things will show in your body language and mood. It’s a good idea to select something that you've worn before and you know makes you feel fantastic as well as attractive.</p> <p><strong>Finishing touches</strong><br />The little finishing touches – like an accessory, a splash of perfume and looking fresh – are not be underestimated. If you’ve had a busy day and you’re going straight from one place to a date, take the time to freshen up – use deodorant, have a breath mint, spritz on a scent and tidy up your hair and outfit. Looking fresh and crisp will help impress your date, but furthermore, feeling fresh will energise you.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Beauty & Style

Placeholder Content Image

Is the secret to a happy relationship knowing when to shut up?

<p>Conventional relationship wisdom says to speak your mind, and not to bottle anything up. That usually translates to talking (or shouting) it out with your spouse ‘til the wee hours of the night until the problem is solved or you both agree to disagree.</p> <p>But keeping silent may be the secret to a long-lasting relationship new research has revealed.</p> <p>A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family observed the interactions of 127 middle-aged and older couple, finding the longer couples had been together, the less willing they were to risk getting into heated arguments over petty matters. Instead, years of experience guided them to adopt “peacekeeping” strategies before arguments eventuated. This included changing the subject or “shutting up” when partners were angry or upset.</p> <p>This passive behaviour is traditionally believed to be damaging to relationships but psychologists are increasingly seeing it as the key to success for many unions. For older couples particularly who’ve had decades to air grievances such avoidance techniques were a successful way of keeping the peace.</p> <p>Researchers studied the 127 couples over a 13-year period by analysing recordings of couple’s discussions on sensitive topics such as the housework and finances. They were particularly interested in forms of communication known as “demand-withdraw pattern,” where one person makes demands and in response the other chooses to withdraw from the interaction. This form of communication typically leads to a complete withdrawal or further escalation of the fight, however, researchers noticed that the older the couple, both would successfully adopt these avoidance tactics.</p> <p>“It may be that both age and marital duration play a role in increased avoidance,” said the study’s lead author Dr Sarah Holley from San Francisco State University.</p> <p>Dr Holley explained that the older people were and the longer they had been married, the less importance they placed on “being right” (or arguing that they were right) and sought positive experiences instead. But it’s not to say the stereotype of “nagging wife, silent husband” is correct as researchers noted both men and women used these withdrawal tactics and similar patterns were found in a previous study between same-sex couples.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><em><strong><a href="../lifestyle/dating/2015/01/garden-saved-marriage/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span>Read one man’s story of how his garden saved his marriage</span></a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="../lifestyle/dating/2014/08/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Love can mean different things to different people</a></span></strong></em></p> <p><em style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="../lifestyle/dating/2014/08/budget-friendly-date-ideas/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Budget-friendly date ideas</a></span></strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

10 romantic lines from literature

<p>It’s time to get sentimental with these lines about love from literature’s greatest authors.</p> <p>1. “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.” – <em>Persuasion</em> by Jane Austen</p> <p> 2. “To <em>love</em> or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” – <em>Les Misérables</em> by Victor Hugo</p> <p>3. “Whatever the souls are made of, his and mine are same.” – <em>Wuthering Heights</em> by Emily Bronte</p> <p>4. “You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.” – <em>Doctor Zhivago</em> by Boris Pasternak</p> <p>5. “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No ... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!" – <em>Captain Corelli's Mandolin</em> by Louis de Bernières</p> <p>6. “I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” – <em>Love In The Time Of Cholera</em> by Gabriel García Márquez</p> <p>7. “He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” – <em>Anna Karenina</em> by Leo Tolstoy</p> <p>8. "All this gladness in life, all honest pride in doing my work in the world, all this keen sense of being, I owe to her!" And it doubles the gladness, it makes the pride glow, it sharpens the sense of existence till I hardly know if it is pain or pleasure, to think that I owe it to one - nay, you must, you shall hear" - said he, stepping forwards with stern determination - "to one whom I love, as I do not believe man ever loved woman before." – <em>North and South</em> by Elizabeth Gaskell</p> <p>9. “You know what I am going to say. I love you. What other men may mean when they use that expression, I cannot tell; what I mean is, that I am under the influence of some tremendous attraction which I have resisted in vain, and which overmasters me. You could draw me to fire, you could draw me to water, you could draw me to the gallows, you could draw me to any death, you could draw me to anything I have most avoided, you could draw me to any exposure and disgrace. This and the confusion of my thoughts, so that I am fit for nothing, is what I mean by your being the ruin of me. But if you would return a favourable answer to my offer of myself in marriage, you could draw me to any good - every good - with equal force.” – <em>Our Mutual Friend</em> by Charles Dickens</p> <p>10. “It is better to love wisely, no doubt: but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.” – <em>Vanity Fair</em> by William Makepeace Thackeray</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Books

Placeholder Content Image

93-year-old grandma shares her blunt dating advice with the world

<p>A 93-year-old woman from the United States has reached viral heights on social media with her frank dating advice for singles around the world - particularly when it comes to which men she thinks it best to avoid. </p> <p>In a series she calls ‘Red Flags for Guys’, Lillian Droniak has educated - and entertained - her audiences, warning them off of everyone from those who won’t open doors to those who won’t provide regular compliments, don’t have soup on hand, and don’t like bingo. </p> <p>In a later entry, she expanded on her own list, declaring that those who lie about their height, those who are water signs, anyone with a name starting with the letter J, plays golf, and don’t like cats are major red flags in the romantic department. </p> <p>“If he doesn't like bingo, I don't date him because I love bingo,” she explained. “If he doesn't keep enough soup for me in the refrigerator. I always like soup and eat soup … if he doesn't call me pretty all the time, I don't want anything to do with him.”</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7187092528930327850&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7187092528930327850%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F0185552c26ef45e9a4155e25fdc88e95_1673375409%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3D2Bbvh8va4bNkeTSlql8fJ3xRfnU%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p> </p> <p>As Lillian told <em>Good Morning America</em> of her decision to launch her account, she gives her advice because she’s already been through it, and that the next generation “are maybe too young to think about it. </p> <p>“I was bashful when I was young. And now I’m too much trouble sometimes.” </p> <p>And while Lillian is happy to dish out her advice, it isn’t without some personal experience. The grandmother has also been open with her followers about her own journey back into the realm of dating, even sharing a clip of her preparing for an upcoming date after 25 years without embarking on one. </p> <p>“My first date in 25 years and he's going to pick me up in 20 minutes,” she said. “I'm getting nervous now. I met him at bingo and that's the way it goes.</p> <p>“He's really handsome and I couldn't say no ... I might kiss him, you never know but I'm going to still put lipstick on just in case.”</p> <p>"If he doesn't like it, he could leave,” she explained, after showcasing her outfit for the camera, “all I want is a free dinner. </p> <p>“I'm not even going to bring my wallet or my purse. I'll let you know how it goes.”</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7197847511887858986&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7197847511887858986%3Flang%3Den&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F3958e1d1760c44539a23ef404b267a18_1675879484%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3DkHJqxjdpR2WgDEE6KGU%252FWFxlSWw%253D&amp;key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p> </p> <p>Unfortunately, it wasn’t destined to work out for Lillian and her would-be partner, as she later returned to inform everyone that she “just got back from my date and it was no good.</p> <p>“He didn't even look at my outfit and say that it looks pretty. He was rude to the waiter, he was just a rude person. He didn't even hold the door for me like a gentleman should.</p> <p>“Bottom line he wasn't a gentleman, not my type. And he was shorter than me.”</p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Rebel Wilson’s criminal save

<p> While Rebel Wilson has found her forever love with designer Ramona Agruma, it took overcoming a few bumps in the dating road to get there.</p> <p>Speaking on the <em>U Up?</em> podcast, the <em>Pitch Perfect </em>star revealed one of the more notable dating near-disasters she experienced, and how it was her castmates who saved her. </p> <p>“I did go out with one guy I nicknamed ‘The Criminal’,” she told hosts Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid.</p> <p>“I think he was like a legit criminal. Basically, the <em>Pitch Perfect</em> girls saved me from that one.”</p> <p>She went on to explain that her co-stars had managed to find out “some s**t on the internet” about the guy, and warned her to steer clear of the man. She had, apparently, met him on the set of another production. </p> <p>Suspicion arose for them when the man agreed to come to New York to spend the weekend with Rebel, but refused to share the details of his flight with her. Upon pressing him for an explanation, the man confessed that he was not allowed to fly across state lines as he was “under investigation”. </p> <p>And while the relationship had been a “casual thing, so I [Rebel] didn’t get too deep into that situation”, she added that she felt the need to let him down “easy” as she didn’t want to put herself at risk with an alleged criminal. </p> <p>It wasn’t the only story that Rebel chose to share during her appearance, with the 43-year-old also opening up about how she’d actually been “dumped” by a woman before crossing paths with fiancée Ramona Agruma - with whom she shares daughter Royce Lillian. </p> <p>“I met a woman and had, like, feelings for her, which totally came as a blindside,” Rebel admitted. “It wasn’t what I was expecting.”</p> <p>“I said the words, ‘I don’t want to offend you, but are you interested in women?’</p> <p>“I’ve never had a conversation like that [before] because I was dating dudes and never had to talk about sexuality.</p> <p>“She was like, ‘I have feelings for you as well’.”</p> <p>She noted that it was difficult for her to put her feelings into words, but that time they had together was “very important” to her, and that she wouldn’t be naming her partner out of respect.</p> <p>Things obviously “didn’t end up going anywhere”, but the relationship helped her open up to her sexuality, and she met Ramona soon after. </p> <p>And the rest, as they say, is romantic history. </p> <p><em>Images: Getty </em></p>

Relationships